My final week here at the MTC is finally coming to a close!
I don't really know how I feel.... Some part of me is so excited to FINALLY be leaving the MTC....
Another part of me is terrified that I am not ready to be in Thailand...
But this past week has been filled with the tender mercies of our Heavenly Father that have reassured me that "It will be okay"~
(I am now convinced that Heavenly Father will guide me to Thailand kicking and screaming if He has to.... OR I can have a much better attitude and accept His will with joy and full purpose of heart!)
Here are some of the highlights of my week, and the Lord's hand in my life!
The first experience happened while I was at the temple on Monday.
As I was praying in the Celestial Room after an Endowment Session, I was pleading with the Lord to give me enough strength to get through this mission...
I wanted to follow His will, but I was having such a hard time feeling ready, sufficient and focused.
A significant part of me just wanted to pack my bags and go home.
As I was praying, I suddenly remembered something that is said in my Patriarchal Blessing.
It says that when I am at the Temple, I will feel close with my ancestors for whom the work has be done.
As I was reminded of this, I started to talk in my heart, with two of my grandparents.
This wasn't the first time I've talked with my ancestors through prayer, but this time was definitely special.
At the time, I was wearing a necklace that has been remolded from rings that my grandmother had owned, and a ring that had once belonged to my mom.
As I focused on the necklace, I talked with my grandmother. She passed away when I was about 6 years old, so I don't remember her very well, but I do remember all the stories my dad has shared with me.
She was the perfect example of love and compassion, and faith.
Growing up, she wasn't just someone who had these qualities... To me, she WAS those things.
So, as I prayed, and talked with her, I could feel her support, and draw strength from her spirituality.
Next, I focused on the ring, and as I did so, I talked with my grandfather.
I never knew him because he passed away when my mom was only about 9 years old.
But my grandmother has told me so many wonderful stories about him growing up.
He was the body guard to the President of Korea, and a war hero!
He was someone who had so much courage, and always bold in standing up for what he believed to be right.
Although I never personally knew him, I could feel his protection, and his strength supporting me.
I could feel that I was drawing the courage and boldness I needed.
As I talked with my grandparents a little longer, thanking them for their love and support...
I had the impression that my grandmother was there, standing beside me and giving the most warm and comforting hug.
I am so very grateful to my grandparents (one from each side of my family) who have been such marvelous examples to me.
The second experience I had this week is a little hard to explain because I'm still confused at exactly what happened.
It was during one of our practice lessons with an investigator...
In the middle of the lesson, Sister Smith started to cry because she was so stressed and overwhelmed with many different things...
I was so lost, and didn't really know what to do...but tried to endure through the lesson by trying my best to meet the needs of the investigator.
I was soon joined by Sister Smith, and together we did our best.
Needless to say, we both felt dazed, and weird after this lesson...
We were trying to put ourselves back together before we headed back to class...
When our investigator, now turned back into our teacher, approached us and thanked us for caring sincerely for our investigator.
He told us that to Phi Jom (our investigator), it wasn't just missionaries, but two angels who had ministered to him....
Our teacher advised us to thank our Heavenly Father for enabling us to do this.
I was shocked to hear this.
I thought of how unprepared I had been walking into that lesson, and how we had struggled through it.
However, here was someone who was telling us that the lesson had been effective...
Sister Smith and I knelt down in prayer together and we each took turns vocally saying a prayer.
I thanked our Heavenly Father for helping us to show love to our investigator and for helping me be a successful missionary, even though I was so imperfect and lacking in many many ways.
This experience helped me to know in my heart (not just in my mind) that when we are on the Lord's errand, He will help us.
He will make sure that angels take our place when we invite others to come unto Christ because the worth of one soul really is great in the sight of God.
This is His work, and our imperfections and shortcomings will not stand in the way.
I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father for trusting me to be a missionary, and for our Savior, Jesus Christ for the pure love that He has for each and every one of us, here on the Earth.
Passing over our responsibilities to the next Sister Training Leaders!!